Anchored When Ships Sway

It has really struck me as illogical recently that I am so prone to worry about what others think of me and let their opinions of me define my worth.

I have struggled all through my twenties with a growing sense of overwhelm at the opinions of others, a desperate need to prove my innocence or worth to them, and a questioning of who I am or whether I am worthy of love based on their treatment of me.

But recently, I've started to see just how many people I have managed to displease. I don't like displeasing them; and yet, after doing everything I can to please them and still failing, I've reached an interesting moment.

I realized that given my desperate desire to please so many people, and their unwillingness to be pleased by me; I was going to fall apart and feel completely worthless, tossed about on a sea of turbulent waves or balmy skies dependent on whatever social circle I found myself in. It simply wasn't sustainable.

It got so bad, that I found myself walking along a path one day asking myself what reality even was. Was there anything about my ability to define existence that I could hold onto.

I came back to the Truth that we are all sinners in need of a Savior and saved equally by grace. I know that I am equal in worth with those who judge my heart and character. We are the same before Christ. No one is on a pedestal, and no one is beneath the pedestal. When we are in the presence of our Holy God, we will all be face down in awe of Who HE is. No one will be comparing themselves to anyone else. No one will even be aware of anyone else. All will desperately cling to the cross and point to the righteousness of Jesus Christ on their behalf.

This truth has always been my anchor, but now I see how this anchor applies in this specific area of struggling with being defined by other's opinions. When my anchor is Christ, my need to self-reflect and search for worth becomes a moot point. My identity is secure. All I am has been established. There is nothing more to worry about. There is nothing more that needs to be said.

"For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:26-28

"But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ - by grace you have been saved - and raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages He might show the immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God." Ephesians 2:4-9